Day 229: Am I in Hell?

On the third and final day of the Arden's Garden Love Your Liver 3-day cleanse, I accomplished quite a few firsts, which is a good thing for me because I was not in any mood to seek out any new activities.

I, along with the help of my colleagues, counted down the hours until I could go home, go to bed, and wake up to eat solid food. Nothing cooked, of course, but at that stage in the game, I didn't care. I'd eat raw for the rest of my life if it meant I never had to drink Multi Max again.

Day 229's things I've never done before were to:

Carry around and consume a gallon jug of distilled water similar to how beefed up guys wearing Zubaz pants do at the gym. Water was the only thing that I could actually drink without any negative reaction.

Stand up for myself when a coworker in New York belittled me and tried to bully me into doing something for her. The entire confrontation (or perhaps the starvation) made me shake like a leaf and almost cry, but I'm happy to report that juicing makes me less of a pushover.

Nearly hallucinate. This one is questionable, but I can tell I have never felt so strange in my life. The ride home from work was foggy at best, and when I heard the me new song by Usher's OMG on the radio and I thought I might've died. And gone to hell.

In an effort to not make Day 229's thing I've never done before to throw up at work, I opted not to push myself with the juices. My gag reflux was working overtime and I was done with the entire experience. If that makes me a quitter, then I resolved to be just that.

I did reconnect with my dad on Day 229, confessing to him that the reason I hadn't returned his phone calls was because juice fasting makes me want to cut myself off from the world. And I was afraid to call him, or anyone, back because I was afraid if I did, I'd act like a bitch.

Without getting too graphic, if cleansing was supposed to cleanse the body of "sluggish elimination" (that's what Arden's Garden calls it, I'm not kidding), then it was a colossal fail. My pants definitely felt looser, which is a plus, but I'm not sure any of it was worth it.

And maybe I could've achieved the same results having taken it easy on the Coors Lights, added a few more vegetables to my lunch plate and logged a few more minutes in the gym.

Perhaps I'm a glutton for punishment, but I'm not opposed to fasts or cleanses, and might be up for trying another one.

Just not this one. Ever. Again.